How to be optimistic regardless of the situation: use the 3 Ps

A few years back I read a book called “Learned Optimism”. It argued that
optimism is something you can learn. It’s a good book, but what it really
comes down to are the three Ps: Personal, Pervasive, and Permanent.

Pessimistic thinkers (a category I fall into too often) tend to think that
set backs are personal (it’s my fault I failed the test), pervasive (I am a
bad student), and permanent (I will never be a good student). Optimistic
thinkers treat setbacks just the opposite: they don’t think they are
personal (I bet everyone had a hard time with that test), pervasive (I do
well normally on tests) or permanent (it’s only the first midterm, I can
make up for it later, and in the worse case I can drop the course and take
another in the summer). Likewise, optimistic thinkers tend to think
successes are personal (I did well on that test because I worked really
hard) pervasive (I am going to ace this term) and permanent (I always do
well in school) while pessimists don’t think successes are personal (I must
have gotten lucky to get such a good mark), pervasive (I will likely do
badly in my other courses) or permanent (I still am not a good student).

As an exercise, if there is an area where you want to be optimistic, try
applying the three Ps. You can use it to undermine your pessimism and
amplify your optimism. For example, if you want to lose weight, but are
pessimistic about doing it, look for areas where you are applying the three
Ps. Look for statements like “I am” or “I will never” or “Everytime”. They
are all signs of the three Ps. If you are pessimistic about losing weight,
you might think “I am a fat such and such” (personal), “I am not good at
getting dieting and exercising and anything to do with that” (pervasive)
and “I will never be able to get in shape” (permanent). You need to tackle
that thinking by looking for examples where you can see the opposite, where
you can find reasons to be optimistic. For example you might think instead
“I am not a fat person, I am someone who was once fit and I can be again, I
can be that person I once was and there is nothing stopping me if I put my
mind to it”, (personal) and “there are lots of good eating and fitness
habits I have already: I just need to work on expanding them” (pervasive),
and “body weight is something anyone can change, there is nothing permanent
about it if I put my mind to it” (permanent). In going from being
pessimistic to optimistic you need to attack your negative way of thinking
using the three Ps and replace that with a positive way of thinking, also
using the three Ps. Once you can do that, it will be easier to motivate and
energize yourself to actually make the changes that align with your new way
of thinking.

New years and New Year’s Resolutions are coming up. Use this to help you.
All the best to you. You will do great: I am optimistic about that.
—————–
Sent from my BlackBerry Handheld.

The rapid rise and fall of email

There was a good article in the New York Times about the decline in web based email, but this chart from the blog  Contrarian sums it up well:

It’s quite astounding to me. I can recall the affects and the switch to email in the mid 90s when more people started getting email at work and from services provided by ISPs. Then web based email came along from sites like Yahoo! Gmail itself only came out in 2004. During that time mail carriers suffered in adjusting to the loss of personal mail. I would have thought that email would have lasted at least another decade. But looking at this chart, I’d be surprised if it too was around in 5 years.

Thoughts on middle age and happiness

The Economist has a great article on how for many people, the age of 46 is a big turning point in terms of well being:

As this graph and the accompanying article illustrate (Age and happiness: The U-bend of life | The Economist) people, regardless of where they live, have a greater sense of well being once they get through the middle of being middle aged. Not only that, but it continues to increase as they get older. There are many theories for that, but the data is strong.

I think everyone should read this article, not just the middle aged, for it can also help younger people and give them a sense of perspective.  Obviously you can find individuals that this doesn’t apply to, but as I get older, it feels right to me. Well worth a read.