Tag: care

Taking care of yourself is not optional

I’ve been thinking of this commandment, ““taking care of yourself is not optional” ever since I read it on an email from Mike Monteiro’s newsletter. I think that is an important commandment to abide by, especially as you get old.

When you get old, it is temping to think taking care of yourself doesn’t matter. Why bother, you think. You don’t have that many years anyway.Why waste your time on that when I have so little time as it is. Besides, no one cares.

But here’s the thing: people do care. You don’t know how many years you have left, and you never have, even when you were younger and you did take care of yourself. And if you don’t take care of yourself, that little time you have might be miserable due to your neglect of yourself.

If you argue that “I don’t believe in all that self-care goopy nonsense”, consider that taking care of yourself doesn’t have to mean meditation and massages and whatever else new age beliefs you may be rejecting. Taking care of yourself can just be the basics: get some good sleep habits, some good eating habits, add some good hygiene habits, plus a bit of exercise too, even if it is walking regularly. If you have all that going on, then you can extend that out to taking care of the environment you are in and the relationships you have, because that comes back to taking care of yourself, too. Have you been to the doctor lately? If not, get checked out. Dentist? Do that too.

Here’s another thing. Taking care of yourself sends a message, to others and yourself. The message is, you matter. You have value. You are precious, even. So start acting like it.

Start taking care of yourself. It’s not optional.

On how care leads to love and how it relates to having more by having less

I have been thinking of this post by Austin Kleon, how caring for something leads us to love it, which leads us to care for it more. I think this is true. It’s a virtuous circle.

I have found this myself during the pandemic, when I purchased house plants with the expectation that they wouldn’t live long. I was wrong: because I was around them more, it was easier to care for them, and because I cared for them, they have thrived, and I loved them more and have cared for them more. Now I have more plants than I ever did before.

It’s tempting to try to stretch this virtuous circle, and you can, to a point. The limiting factor is your ability to pay attention and the needs of the things you are caring for. If you have something or someone that requires much attention and care, you can’t have multiples of those things without exhausting yourself. You need to strike a balance.

To strike that balance, you need the right level of things to care for. Chances are, you have too many things that requires your care. I think you and I need to find the right level and pare down the rest.  Give those things to people who need things to care for. By doing so, you end up caring for and loving yourself. You are the root of all this love and care you are providing. Take care of the root, and the love and care you have for other things and beings can branch out and spread.

P.S. If you are having a hard time paring down, take the advice of either Marie Kondo (keep only things that spark joy) or William Morris (see below)

(Imagine via mylightbag.wordpress.com)