Tag: advice

On avoiding the trap of political outrage

If you are associated with people who are political activists, you will likely be presented with events from time to time and you will be asked  “why aren’t you outraged by this?” It can put you on the defensive. It can make you feel uncaring, selfish, or apathetic. You have to agree that a massacre or child abuse or great poverty is outrageous, and you feel at that moment that a) something should be done and b) you are somehow deficient for not doing something about it.

This is a trap. First off: is there something you can immediately do to stop this? If you can, then do it. Chances are you cannot. So outrage aside, you need to make a plan either to take action in the longer term, or not take action at all. But why would you not take action at all? Simply because there are more terrible things in the world happening than you can possibly tackle. Even if you were to devote your life to them, there would be many many more things you cannot do than you can. You need to have a plan to do what you can.

Feelings like guilt or or pity or outrage may spark you do something. But if things stop there, such feelings are self-indulgent. Instead, pick something that you are motivated to improve and work on.Can you do more? Do more.

Just avoid the trap.

(Originally posted at Posterous on April 24 2011)

 

Freedom 48 – how to retire early

My former colleague and all around great person, Annie English, has a book and a blog on how to retire young. The Toronto Star has reviewed it here: Here’s how this couple retired at 48 in expensive Toronto: Roseman | Toronto Star. Annie and her husband, Rich, were disciplined before retirement, and that discipline has paid off. If you want to learn how they did it, check out the Star article, or their blog, Retired At 48. If this is something you want to achieve, buy the book, too.

Some thoughts on dealing with small difficulties

The problem with small difficulties is that if you get too close to them, they seem large. Like mosquitoes, even though they are small, with enough of them pestering you, you can find yourself entirely taken up with dealing with them.

With mosquitoes, you might endure them, and this is one way to deal with them if you have to. You can also endure your small problems and fight through them as if they were a swarm of mosquitoes. Or you might step back inside to a sheltered place. Stepping back is also a good way to deal with small problems. Step back and gain some perspective and see the small problems for what they are: small and insignificant in the bigger frame you view them from. You will still deal with them, but regaining that perspective reduces the irritation that they bring on, and helps you deal with them with great patience and equanimity.

(Via my iphone)

The best, easiest, and most effective New Year’s resolution to make (perfect for procrastinators, too) is

The best, easiest, and most effective New Year’s resolution to make (perfect for procrastinators, too) is this: I resolve to make a new resolution every week (or month, or quarter or season, or….you get the idea).

It sounds like a lame suggestion, but think about it for a minute. By making this resolution, you have already made a resolution. Good for you! One down. That out of the way, you can decide what is a schedule you are most likely to stick to. Once a week? Possible, but tough. Monthly? More likely. I personally like quarterly or seasonally. The idea of having a new resolution every season is a great way to kick off a season. In spring you can resolve to plant new / more plants. In summer you can resolve to go to the beach more, or go on that trip you always wanted, or spend more time in the park reading or exercising. In fall you can resolve to get out and take in more culture. And in winter you can resolve to get in shape for next spring and fall.

Whatever you do, keep a list. You will be surprised at the end of the year how many resolutions that you made and kept.

The other good thing about this approach is that you keep up the resolutions, rather than making a bunch in January, only to have them die off.

Good luck!

60 Things to Better Appreciate in Life

The actual title of the blog post that I am commenting on is 60 Things to Be Grateful For In Life at the site tinybuddha.com.  However, the word “grateful” implies you are grateful towards someone or something. I prefer the word “appreciate”, not only because it does away with that relationship, but it has connotations of “growth” and “value”. Appreciating your sense of sight implies not only do you value your ability to see the beauty in the world, but also you are growing your ability to see the beauty in the world. I like that better.

Regardless of whether you are grateful, appreciative, or both, check out the list. It’s a good one.

a nice reminder to backup your files

My computer is toast. Specifically there appears to be a problem with either Windows XP or the file system where Windows resides. Regardless, it is likely going to mean a lot of restoring of files or at least moving them.

Ask yourself; if my computer stopped working right now, do you have a copy of the most important files on my computer? Do I even know which files are important? Have you tested restoring those files and did it work?

If you don’t have a good answer to these questions, look for ways to determine how to answer them today. In the worst case, take your most crucial files and email them to someone or use a service like drop.io as a temporary place to put them while you find a longer term solution.

You don’t need a complex solution. In fact backing up your files should be as easy as brushing your teeth! And just as important.

Essential wardrobe item for men: the solid black suit

If you  search for Tim Gunn’s Fashion Essentials on the Web, you will find a number of things he recommends for women. To some degree, many of these things — classic white shirt, jeans, trench coat — work for men as well. But there is one thing on that list that women have had for a long time as an essential, namely the “little black dress”, that men should also have. Except it is the “solid black suit”.

I’ve read that if men are buying their first suit, they should go with a navy suit. Navy suits are great. But if I were recommending an essential piece of clothing for men, it would be a solid black suit.

A solid black suit is tremendously versatile. If you wear it with a white shirt with French cuffs and a solid coloured tie, it is the height of dressing up (save for wearing a tuxedo). If you replace the shirt and tie with a high quality T-shirt or a bold print shirt, you can wear the same suit to a gallery opening or a night club. You can wear it to weddings, funerals, and pretty well any special event in between. It travels well, doesn’t show stains or wrinkles as easily as some other suits, and if you have to pack light, you could add some light gray or beige pants and make the jacket coordinate with those slacks for extra business attire. You can even wear the jacket with the jeans if you want to mix it up.

I think solid black is more versatile than one with stripes. As for the cut of the suit, that should be one that works well for you. Since you want the suit to be versatile, the cut should be versatile as well. And get the best one you can afford, especially if you will be wearing it often.

There are lots of great articles of clothing a man should have in his wardrobe to look his best. A basic black suit should be one of those.

To see what I mean: if you want to see just how elegant such a suit can look, you can check out this post with Tim looking great as usual in a solid black suit. Meanwhile, this post on the new line of Comme des Garcons wear at H&M illustrates how to make such a suit look more casual.