Good piece if you are struggling to change behavior in children: Which Is Better, Rewards or Punishments? Neither – The New York Times. But honestly, what is good for changing children’s behavior is good for changing any one’s behavior, including your own.
I recommend you read the piece: it has good examples. But in a nutshell, you should:
- Motivate Instead of Reward
- Help Instead of Punish
There’s one other piece of advice in the article. I’ll leave it for you to find out what it is. You can do it! Just click the link above. You’ll be glad you did.
(Photo by sydney Rae on Unsplash)
If you are uncomfortable asking for help, read this: How to Ask for Help and Actually Get It – The New York Times. After you read it, write out the type of help you need and use the article’s guidelines to insure your request for help is more effective.
We all need help from time to time. Read that and you will be more effective in getting the help you need.
One last thought: show appreciation before, during and after someone helped you. Even if they say it is no big deal to help. If for no other reason, it acknowledges the effort someone has taken to help you.
Get help. Your life will get better as a result. And the people who help you will often feel better about themselves for helping you, so you are helping them too.
If you know someone is physically injured, you apply First Aid to either repair the injury or limit it until you can get further help.
Likewise, I think of this list as a form of mental health first aid: Eponis | Sinope – Everything Is Awful and I’m Not Okay: questions to ask before giving up. It’s not meant to replace professional help, if you need that, but it may be the thing you need to get you through a rough patch (speaking from personal experience).