
Your problem is actually a solution. And that’s the real problem. Which calls for the real solution.
Let’s unpack that.
Many of the common problems we have are actually solutions for underlying problems we have. So if you have a problem with: eating, drinking, smoking, sleeping, shopping, etc. too much, you need to look at those behaviours not just as problems but as solutions to underlying problems. You might be indulging in those behaviours because they solve your underlying problem of being anxious, bored, tired, etc. If you try and solve the problem of doing something too much like eating without dealing with the actual problem, you will have a difficult time. And you will have a difficult time because you will may have taken away the solution for the actual problem you were avoiding.
One approach to start dealing with this is get out a notepad and write down what problems you are struggling with and try to get underneath them and see if those problems are actually solving other problems. Then write down those problems and see what you can do to solve them. If you can make progress in solving the underlying problems, you might find that the other problems dissipate.
As always, talk to a professional if you think or feel that your problems are harming you. Take good care of yourself; get help if you can’t do it alone.


Jerry Seinfeld gives a good example of how to change your mind in public, here: 














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