Category: advice

You’re Going to Die, Here’s How to Deal With It

Aside from birth, the only other thing that is guaranteed to happen to every single person on the planet is death. No exceptions, no way around it. Your own death aside, chances are good that you will be affected by deaths of loved ones and most likely have to plan a funeral or two before your own comes about.

If you are still not in denial and you want to face up to your inevitable exit, read this: You’re Going to Die, Here’s How to Deal With It

Dying is a part of living. Don’t dwell on it, or you miss out.

 

How many lives do you have to live

Stage

It’s a cliche: you only have one life to live. But it’s not really true. We experience many lives in our lifetime. Maybe it’s closer to 11, like this great post illustrates: You Only Live 11 Times, SMBC | Jesse Rogerson. Or maybe it is closer to some other number. Certainly we all go through major stages in our lives, and as we leave a stage, it can seem like we leave one life behind for another one. We are like performers, going from one theatre to another, retaining some parts of our act while discarding others.

Enjoy the life (or stage of life) you are in right now. Savour the best parts of it. Never assume they will last long, for they won’t. (Parents, in particular know this.) Likewise, for the more challenging aspects of your life right now: they won’t last for long, either. (It just seems that way). Accept and deal with them the best way you can, and know they will also recede and end.

On ward!

Here’s 32 ways to live better.


From dealing with difficult people to doing things better, here’s dozens of pieces on how to live better.

  1. Don’t treat love or leisure like a job | Life and style | The Guardian – good advice. I found that non-work activities that I treated like work became less enjoyable. If this sounds like you, read this.
  2. MJ Ryan Mantras For Dealing With Difficult Times – everyone can use this at one time or another in their lives
  3. End the Tyranny of 24/7 Email – The New York Times – what goes for email should also go for social media, Slack, etc. Improve your life: get offline more often.
  4. 7 Rules That Keep My Life Simple : zen habits – simple is often
  5. Relationship Problems? Try Getting More Sleep – The New York Times – sometimes the best approach is to start with the basics: sleep, diet, exercise.
  6. How to Write a Book: 10 Ridiculously Simple Steps – well, not exactly. But a good reminder on how the mechanics of book writing are important.
  7. Choose to Be Grateful. It Will Make You Happier. – The New York Times – if not grateful, then appreciative.
  8. Pmarchive – Guide to Personal Productivity – odd, but interesting.
  9. Achieve Goals By Gamifying Them – 99U if you like games, a good approach
  10. A psychologist explains the limits of human compassion – Vox – a reminder to give yourself a break if you are beating yourself up for not doing more
  11. Turning Negative Thinkers Into Positive Ones – NYTimes.com – this is good.
  12. Inbox Zero trick: How to clean out your inbox on Gmail and start the year fresh. | Cool Mom Tech – smaller inbox, happier life
  13. 10 Life Lessons to Excel in Your 30s | Mark Manson – 30 somethings, take note
  14. The Alan Kazdin Method for Making Your Children Behave – The Atlantic – advice for parents
  15. I’ve started responding to recruiters with this list of requirements · GitHub – how to deal with recruiters. Good idea.
  16. Résumé tips for Wall Street internships – Business Insider – I can’t recommend this, but for those who want that life.
  17. How to Start Running – Well Guide to Running for Beginners – Well Guides – The New York Times – plenty of good resources for new and experienced runners here.
  18. Make Yourself Note-able – who writes, rules.
  19. What Productivity Systems Won’t Solve – good advice, especially for those busy yet feeling stuck.
  20. 11 Ways to Write Better | The Minimalists – I am surprised the minimalists had this many 🙂
  21. Biggest goal setting mistake people make, according to Amy Cuddy – Business Insider – if you feel goal setting isn’t working, read this.
  22. Better Together – Kara’s Inspiration | Oiselle Running Apparel for Women – inspiration from one of my favorite athletes.
  23. How I Got My Attention Back | WIRED – in the Internet era, your attention is valuable. Keep hold of it.
  24. How to Be a Stoic | The New Yorker
  25. I Have 15 ideas To Change Your Life. Do you Have 5 Minutes? -sure you do. So read this.
  26. Tips for Minimal Living and Decor | Apartment Therapy – good advice on how to live minimally.
  27. The Life Balance Wheel: A Printable Tool to Find Harmony at Home | Apartment Therapy – a good technique. Replace things on the wheel with things you value most.
  28. You Should Work Less Hours—Darwin Did – see? now you have a reason to do this.
  29. How to Get to Know Someone: 53 Great Questions to Ask — Gentleman’s Gazette – for those of you that find getting to know people hard.
  30. Actually, we can buy happiness | Oliver Burkeman | Life and style | The Guardian – a good contrarian take on things
  31. Do These 5 Emotionally Intelligent Things Within 5 Minutes Of Meeting Someone – also good.
  32. When an Argument Gets Too Heated, Here’s What to Say – good to know.

(Image from Wikihow)

Two simple ways to get fitter, easier

Stairs
Getting fit can seem like a big production, and for people who haven’t been exercising, that can be all it takes to prevent them from getting fitter. Speaking from experience, I know this to be the case.

What I think you need is something that will a) get you in the habit b) be so low key you have no real excuse to get started.

If you agree then I think these two pieces are just what you need to get started on your way to being fitter.

  1. 10 Minutes And Some Stairs Are All You Need To Get More Fit — Science of Us
  2. Yoga for Everyone: A Beginners Guide – Well Guides – The New York Times

As for the yoga, if you don’t want to do all 10, then pick a few just to get started. Even doing 2-3 at first should get you started.

Good luck!

P.S. For more on simplifying exercise, check out this piece in Vox.

Some good philosophy links for amateur thinkers

The word Philosophy
These are all links I’ve come across recently and thought worthwhile:

If you are not used to reading philosophy, the first one is a must read. Otherwise, you may find yourself trying to read philosophy in a way that leaves you frustrated.

I’ve seen references to virtue ethics (as well as stoicism) frequently these days: if you aren’t familiar with it, that link is a good starting point to get to know it.

Finally, the last link is useful if you are new to philosophy and want to know it better but find it hard to get started.

(Image from http://uucch.org/morning-philosophy-group)

Practice for an interview with good interview questions, like these….

Interview
If you are applying for a job and haven’t done so in a while, chances are you will have a difficult time with some of the questions asked of you, if only because you are expected to provide answers on topics you likely haven’t thought of in some time.

Two ways to deal with that. First, find friends who have recently gone to job interviews and get them to give you some of the questions they were asked. Second, try out some of the questions found here: swissmiss | My Favorite Interview Questions.

I should add, any place that asks you the kind of questions found at swissmiss.com is likely the kind of place you want to work.

Good luck. Ace that interview.

(Image linked to http://sscrecruitmentresults.in/hr-interview-questions-answers-freshers/)

Standing All Day Is Twice as Bad as Sitting for Your Heart | Runner’s World

Standing desk
Perhaps the hype around the standing desk is finally going to die. Here’s hoping. Based on this source,  Standing All Day Is Twice as Bad as Sitting for Your Heart | Runner’s World, standing all day is no good either. It mentions an interesting study….

… just published in the American Journal of Epidemiology that finds jobs that require a lot of standing to be much worse for your health than jobs that require mostly sitting. The new study is a surprising counterweight to the ubiquitous “sitting is the new smoking” message

Like anything, standing or sitting at your job should be done in moderation. Ideally you would have a work station that allowed you to easily switch from sitting to standing (like the one in the image above from http://www.smallbiztechnology.com/). If you don’t have a set up like that, at least try and find opportunities to stand and sit throughout the day. Better still, get a walk or two in as well.

Be good to yourself and your body.

 

On ASA, Tylenol and Advil

Aspirin
If you take any of these meds then you really should read this: Should you take Tylenol, Advil, or aspirin for pain? Here’s what the evidence says. – Vox

I was surprised by what they said about Tylenol.  You might be surprised by what’s in here as well.

As for me, I have found when I have had a sore back, ASA was the best thing to relieve the pain.

Like any medicine, consult with your doctor or pharmacist before taking. You should especially consult with them if you are taking such medicine on a regular basis.

(Image from bayer.com)

 How to be effortlessly charming (or not) :)

George Burns and Kermit
Kinda funny, though not intentionally: BBC – Capital – The tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming.

Some thoughts:

  • Charm is a relative quality. Some people find George Clooney charming, others might find George Burns charming. There are signals and cue that some people give off that one person can find charming and another person can find repulsive.  If the latter is true, no amount of smiling and eyebrow raising (as the article suggests) will make someone charming. It depends on those being charmed more so than the person being charming.
  • There are things that are unlikely to make you charming, such as being sarcastic, insulting, or inconsiderate. Likewise, being warm, interested, engaged, and kind are more likely to make you seem charming to others.
  • Regardless, being effortlessly charming typically takes much effort! If you want to be charming, start working on it now.

 

 Networking and work: overrated but not useless

This piece in the New York Times is great advice for anyone young and struggling with networking. Is networking useless? Not at all. But like direct mail or many other forms of outreach, the effort to success ratio is far from 1:1.

If you are an extrovert, then you likely get something out of networking even if it isn’t a leg up at work. If you are are introvert, however, articles like that one are  likely to make you never want to even try. For you introverts, I recommend you find ways to network that are pain free. You may not even have to directly talk to people: just be contributing to platforms that have alot of participants, you can get the benefits of networking. Networks are everywhere these days and embedded in much of the technology we use: take advantage of that fact to network in the ways most effective for you.

Hard work and luck are the keys to success. Networking is also a form of hard work, and if you work at it, it can bring luck! (After all, good luck is the residue of hard work.) Therefore include networking as part of what you are doing to be successful. Just hav the right expectation of what comes from such work.

How to look ahead in life

Young and old person on laptop
If you can see clearly ahead, you can make better directions on how to steer. It’s true for any mode of transportation. It’s also true about life. Take a look at this piece in the 99u: What I Wish I Knew at Every Age – 99U.  Whether you are young or old, it will give you the ability to see what’s ahead in life though the wishes of others and it will help you steer your one wonderful life.

Drive well.

(Image from here).

 

On August Blues 

If you feel yourself out of sorts or not your best in the month of August, you are not alone.  August can trigger bad emotional responses in us for a number of reasons, whether we love the summer or hate it. To see what I mean, see this: August Blues Are Like Sunday Blues, But for a Full Month — Science of Us.

I would add for some, August can be the most extreme month in terms of weather (just like February) and that can make it difficult to deal with too. If you find yourself struggling at this time of the year, cut yourself some slack and prepare yourself for the true start of the new year: September. (A much nicer month than August for many reasons).

If you are worried about the WannaCrypt ransomware (and if you are a Windows user, you should be), then…

…Then you want to go here and download and install the appropriate software for your Windows system: Security Essentials Download.

According to this, Microsoft has upgraded it’s security software to prevent similar attacks. That’s good. What’s not good is that you can be certain there will be a wave of copycat attacks coming. Get the software and install it today.

On entrepreneurism and ageism

Col Sanders
Should you become an entrepreneur if you are older? If you are an entrepreneur, should you hire older workers despite worrying they won’t be a good fit? This piece, Don’t Let Your ‘Senior Citizen’ Status Kill Your Entrepreneurial Spirit, makes the case that the answer to both questions is yes. Well worth reading if you have been asking yourself these questions.

And why is Colonel Sanders shown here? The article will explain.

(Image linked to is on Wikimedia)

Is ‘Blue Monday’ a thing


According to Snopes (snopes.com), it is not. As in, there is not a specific day that is the most depressing day of the year.

That said, if you read carefully, you can see why people accept this notion. January can be a difficult month for many reasons. You might feel that the entire month is filled with Blue Mondays. Take it easy on yourself, especially if you have challenging resolutions you are trying to complete.

Good luck. Stay healthy.

(Image, via The Sun, shows the so called formula for calculating Blue Monday)

A good new year’s resolution: unsubscribing to mailing lists

Unsubscribing to mailing lists you no longer read or want is a good resolution to make and keep. Here’s why it’s a good idea:

  1. It doesn’t take long.
  2. It’s not something you have to do every day.
  3. It let’s you put off getting deep into work on your first day/week back from vacation. (Assuming this is you.)
  4. It will save you much more time than you think over the next month, season, year. If you spend 5 minutes a day deleting such email, over the year, that’s over 2 days of meaningless activity.
  5. It will help you get your inbox under control. It won’t get you to Inbox Zero, but it helps.

By the way, if you’ve been wanting to do a New Year’s resolution but haven’t come up with any, this one is easy.

My Lessons Learned from Christmas’ past (including where to buy trees in Toronto)

Christmas for me is many things, including an annual exercise in planning. I keep a Word document that I update every year. It contains the typical list of things to do, by when. It tracks cards sent and received, presents given to whom, key dates, even what I need to buy for Christmas Day meal. One other thing I keep is a list of lessons learned. Here’s mine.

  • Christmas planning should start the day after Remembrance Day.
  • Get gifts at the end of November, if possible. It takes time to get
    them, wrap them, send them off.
  • Indigo has lots of gift ideas, not just books. Music, movies, nic nacs.
    Plus, if you shop there early, you can provide gift ideas for others
  • Winners is also good. Future shop (now Best Buy) is better than Toys R Us for electronics for the kids.
  • Get time consuming activities done asap. You have less time in December than you think.
  • Check Canada Post web site for mailing dates. It helps to keep you on track.
  • Get tree on Saturday. While it is settling, put up the lights. On Sunday bring it in and decorate it. It takes time to set it up and decorate and  it is difficult to get done during the week.
  • Get a poinsettia around the same time you get the tree (or much
    earlier). You can get some small plants at the green grocer for $2.99:
    has the same effect as a big one.
  • I used to say: get your tree at Sheridan: It is close, you don’t need a
    car, and the prices are better. But last year a 6′ tree was $60 and a 7′
    tree was $99! And we need a 7′ tree. I called after the fact and the
    Loblaws trees this year were $40 for 6-8 feet. IKEA trees are $20 and you get a coupon for $20 for a purchase of $75 or more.  After that, you can get your tree from Dominion at Bayview/Eg. It
    was better there than Loblaws. Then IKEA last.
  • Use cut off branches from the bottom of the tree to make something to hang on the door. Just add some red ribbon.
  • Plan Christmas spirit events throughout December. Start planning them in November. Besides putting up the tree and Santa, there could be: get a gift for poorer children, Swiss Chalet Festive Special Run
  • Put up decorations outside earlier than you think. Lots of people have them up in the first week of December before it gets too cold
  • Indigo is good for more than books: calendars, DVDs, music CDs,  nicnacs
  • The week before Christmas is busy. Not just with the Xmas activities, but with cleaning, etc. Don’t assume you have time to do much more
  • Playing shinny / going skating daily is a great idea over the Holidays.

(Originally posted on Posterous, December 5 2011, 7:51 AM)

The surprisingly easy way anyone can start an art collection

If you love art, but believe you have to have tons of money or an art history degree to have an art collection, then take a few minutes and watch the above videos from the good people at art interiors (two of whom are in the video). After watching it, you’ll feel it’s something you can achieve, I’m sure.

Next step? I recommend a visit to their site and store to see what they have that suits you.

Good luck!

Sixteen ways to think about and improve your life

Over the last year or so, I’ve found these worthwhile pieces on how to think about life and how to improve it. If you find one of these worthwhile and it improves your life as a result of you reading it, then I think collecting and writing about these is worthwhile.

  1. If you are feeling lonely and want to understand and deal with it better, consider this: The Science of Loneliness: How Isolation Can Kill You – New Republic
  2. One idea you can consider: talk to strangers. Hello, Stranger – NYTimes.com
  3. If you need new ways to live a better life, courtesy of a famous person….7 Steps to Living a Bill Murray Life – Vulture
  4. Or if you like to write, try to improve your life via writing: Writing Your Way to Happiness – NYTimes.com (I am guessing some writers would not agree with it)
  5. If you struggle to be happy, this could help: Everyone wants to be happy. Almost everyone is going about it wrong. – Vox
  6. If you want to be more optimistic, consider the big picture, presented here: A Cockeyed Optimist – NYTimes.com
  7. If you think you are working too much and are often thinking of cutting back, this could help you: Keynes’ 15 Hour Work Week Is Here Right Now
  8. Lots of good ideas via a collected stream of tweets, here: Things @GhostfaceKnitta Learned in 2015 (with tweets) · valerieinto · Storify
  9. Why should you give away money and be happier: Giving money away makes us happy. Then why do so few of us do it? – Vox
  10. Don’t hesitate when it comes to improving your life. You have less time than you think. See this to see why: These graphics will make you rethink your life – Tech Insider
  11. Being laid off will happen to everyone. If that’s you now,  and you are struggling with it, consider: Advice For the Recently Laid Off – Medium
  12. Self Confidence makes for a better life. Here’s how to become that way and more so: The Truth On How To Become Self Confident
  13. Change your mind, change your life. How? One way: Rewire your brain: Why Practice Makes Perfect: How to Rewire Your Brain for Performance
  14. If you struggle with your thoughts (e.g., worry too much), read : BBC – Future – Why we should stop worrying about our wandering minds
  15. Sometimes the way to improve our lives is not to have more, but to seek less and not be caught up in the trappings of status. To live a simpler life, like this: Here’s why one of the world’s richest men wears hand-me-down clothes – The Washington Post
  16. More on how to live with less. Living With Less. A Lot Less. – The New York Times

(Image from one of the articles linked to on NYTimes.com)

Democracy in action – An Introduction to Field Organizing

If you want to do more than vote in an election, especially if you are an American, then read this: THIS ELECTION IS FREAKING ME OUT, WHAT CAN I DO!? (An Introduction to Field Organizing). Obviously this is geared towards Hillary Clinton supporters for president, but read it regardless of you who you plan to vote for and at what level.  It should help you get to the point of at least knowing the right questions to ask and where you might go next to get more involved.

Voting is important, but there is much more to democracy than that. If you step up, your involvement will make a difference, regardless of your role. Good for you for taking that next step.

Zara makes good fragrance for young men


My teenage son was wanting to wear fragrance, and I found that when it comes to this, there is something of a dilemma. On one hand, low cost fragrances (e.g. under $20) smell awful. (Think fresh cut lime juice mixed with a bottle of cat urine.) Fragrances that are appealing, on the other hand, can easily cost $50, $60, $70 and more. This wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the fact that teen age boys (based on my limited observations) go through a lot of fragrance.

A way out of that dilemma is to buy fragrance from Zara. The fragrances above cost around $15 and they cover a range of scents. Some have more citrus, others more floral, some have dominant woody notes. In short, you can likely find a scent he will like that won’t cost you a fortune.

Do these fragrances have the richness or complexity of a product from Issey Miyake or Tom Ford? Nope. But he’ll smell better than his buddies drenched in Axe, even if he puts on too much at first, which he probably will. Your pocketbook and the people who have to share close space with him will thank you.

P.S. The two fragrances above come from a line of Zara fragrances named after famous streets. The packaging looks like the kind you would get with high end fragrances. I recommend them. That said, Zara has a number of fragrance lines. It will likely be painful, but try and get him to go and check out the fragrances himself so he will pick one he’ll like and wear.

P.S.S. These fragrances are not just for teenage boys,  of course. Anyone can wear them if it appeals to them.

Developers and IT people: you need to have more than a good resume/CV

If you are a software developer or someone working in IT, you need to consider having more than a good resume or CV. You should consider having:

  1. an up to date profile in LinkedIn
  2. a professional web site (at least a one pager). It could be a blog, or an about.me page…something that provides information about yourself in a summary form.
  3. some repositories on github showing your work or an example of what you can do.

If you use github.io to host your professional web site, you get to cross off #2 and #3 with one effort.

I was reminded of this when I went to check out this page: DevProgress Tech Volunteer Questionnaire. You can see them asking for this information. It makes sense: if you are looking to hire a developer, it would be great to see not just what people are saying about them on LinkedIn, but what their code looks like too.

For some employees, putting code on github may not be an option. In that case focus on the first two and have a page somewhere on the web that discusses why you can’t host code there.

 

Want to understand what artificial intelligence and machine learning is?

If you want a better understanding of artificial intelligence or if you want to gain some insight into the future of machine learning, I recommend these two free reports, found here: Free AI Reports from  O’Reilly Media. There’s so much hype and speculation about AI: these reports cut through all that noise and they will give you a better understanding of what A.I. really is and where it is going.

P.S. If you like them, check out the many great non-A.I. related reports as well. You don’t have to be a technologist to be able to read them.

Should you take St John’s wort for depression, and other advice on supplements

This is a wonderful interactive chart that shows you how worthwhile (or worthless) certain supplements are, based on evidence (as opposed to anecdote or worse): Snake Oil Supplements from Information is Beautiful.

If you are a fan of a certain supplement, you can use this chart to discover what it is good for. And if you have a certain health concern, you can use the chart to determine what may work and what’s a waste of money.

If you like this, check out more of the charts on the information is beautiful site. They have lots of good charts.

Are you in terrible shape? Not so terrible but bad enough shape? Do you need help? Here you go

Like most people — for instance, me — , you may need to get in better shape. In doing some research on it, I came across the following links that I found interesting, inspiring, and useful. I hope you do too:

It’s Hump Day. You’ve got that “Fail” feeling. Watch this.

It’s 2 and a half minutes. What? You don’t have time? You have time to get a coffee. You have time to check your phone. You have time to read your inbox again. So you have time to watch this. Don’t play basketball? It doesn’t matter. Check it out.

Work harder. Think harder. Try harder. Fail harder. Be better.

Source: Fail Harder | Basketball Motivation – YouTube

Your Late-Night Emails Are Hurting Your Team

Put away that email you are about to send out and read this: Your Late-Night Emails Are Hurting Your Team. The same is true for the Sunday evening emails. Stop sending them.

Once you do that, look at how many emails you send out and try and find ways to reduce that, either with meetings, quick chats, or other media (e.g., internal blogs, status updates).

The result will be a better informed and a more motivated team.

Some links to support your new year’s resolutions

If you’ve decided to become more fit, work better, or be better generally, then consider these resources to support you as advance towards achieving your goals:

Good luck!

If you’re having a rough start to the new year, here’s how to fit your work into 16.7 hours

It does sound too good to be true, and no, I haven’t tried it, but if you want to change your work routine, consider the pomodoro technique.

If you are still interested, there is an article on it: The Simple Technique To Fit A 40-Hour Workweek Into 16.7 Hours. I find it hard to believe, but for some of you, it may just be the thing you need to improve your work life.

Dietary food guides are just that: guides. A good reminder of that, here.

And as you can see from this: Italy’s dietary guidelines actually say pasta and cookies are food groups in Vox. Depending on where they originate, food guidelines are often very different. There is some overlap (which isn’t surprising), but there are just as many differences.

If you are confused as to what you should choose, try going with Sweden’s (below): it seems the most sensible.

Radical Candor is a bad idea with some exceptions

This article, Radical Candor — The Surprising Secret to Being a Good Boss | First Round Review, is making the rounds and is making my nervous. It makes me nervous because it is a terrible concept and it is very hard to do well. Even the example given – being called stupid – is a bad one. Be wary of any boss or any organization adopting this in your workplace.

My long work experience is that the Challenge Directly part takes little effort and energy, but the Care Personally part takes a lot of effort and energy. The result is a drift towards a demoralizing and toxic work environment with lots of criticism and little encouragement.

There is a rare exception where I have seen radical candor work: an elite athlete with an elite coach. Elite athletes sign up for and encourage radical candor because it is the best way to be the best. If you consider your work role similar to an elite athlete and you consider your boss an elite coach, then radical candor could work for you. Likewise if you are in the role of manager. Otherwise, I would recommend you pass on this approach and look for a better way to work.